


Your Heart is made of Gold, Beautiful and full of Love

by wincestismyheart



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Jared Padalecki, Bottom Jensen Ackles, Insecurity, Jensen and Jared live in divorce from their former wives, Light Dom/sub, Love, M/M, Makeup Sex, Mentioned Danneel Harris, Mentioned Demon Dean Winchester, Mentioned Genevieve Cortese, Mentioned Soulless Sam Winchester, Midlife Crisis, Oral Sex, Possessive Behavior, Public Sex, Rimming, Self-Esteem Issues, Sexual Roleplay, Spanking, Switching, Top Jared Padalecki, Top Jensen Ackles, dominance fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:56:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29062449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wincestismyheart/pseuds/wincestismyheart
Summary: Jared and Jensen have a few rough weeks behind. They are both stressed and not in their right mind, which ensures that they slowly but surely drift apart from each other.Their relationship isn't the same anymore.That's why Jared decided they should take some time off together. He came up with an idea that may could help them. He wants them to get back into playing their favorite characters but with a more sexual touch.The boys do a roleplay as Soulless!Sam and Demon!Dean, have some rough sex to get all the tension off and for a moment it actually helped. But in the end it only brought them more problems which need to be solved.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 162





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HGB22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HGB22/gifts).



> Hey, everyone! I wrote this story for @HGB22 and I'm so sorry that it took me so long to get finished with your prompt!  
> I hope it fits your imagination and you will like it! 
> 
> I didn't had a beta reader, so all mistakes are on me!
> 
> I wish you all a lot of fun reading and feedback is always welcome! Enjoy it! <3

Jensen knows it’s just an act. They talked about Jared’s little fantasy for hours and planned it through out.

_He knows it’s an act._

But he can’t help the jealousy sting in his belly as soon as he sees Jared with this asshole Stephen Amell. To be fair, it wasn’t planned like _that_.

Jared was supposed to find a nice guy in the bar, talk and flirt a little bit with him until Jensen came and their game started. He didn’t expected Stephen fucking Amell here and he sure as hell didn’t expected Jared to talk with him.

His lover knows how much he hates that guy.

Every blind man can see that Stephen is over the hills for Jared. He stares at him with this lost puppy eyes, like Jared is the whole damn world for him. He always follows him around and laughs about everything he says, even if it’s not funny, just like a high school girl in love.

It’s pathetic.

Jensen scoffs and runs a hand through his styled hair. He tries to slip back into his role and takes a deep breath while he straightens his shoulders.

He wears the same red flannel shirt which Dean wore in Supernatural when he was a demon. Actually he wears the whole outfit from these scenes. And he even styled his damn hair for Jared, although he hates that sticky gel on his head.

He takes a few more minutes and just watches Jared talking with that dork.

His boy blushes slightly in his usually shy way when someone compliments him. He giggles over something Stephen said and the other man beams with pride.

Jensen knows he should go over there now, play the possessive boyfriend and drag Jared away, _but he can’t._ He is frozen in place and can’t even move his little finger.

His mind is running high, throwing thoughts out which have plagued him a lot lately. Jared looks damn familiar with that guy, he looks like he has fun and feels comfortable. He way he blushes and giggles makes Jensen ask himself if it is really just an act.

He immediately feels insecure. Usually Jensen is a self-confident man. Sure he gets often jealous and has a big possessive beast inside of him, but he knows Jared loves him.

He really shouldn’t be doubting his lover or their relationship and he feels bad about it. But the last few weeks there just a big mess.

So many things happened and Jensen’s mind is so full of stuff, it all confuses him a bit. He and Danneel are on better terms since the day he and Jared came out to their wives.

She needed a little time to get used to it and to let go of her anger and grief, but she accpets it and decided that they should part in peace, for their own good and for their children.

Genevieve however had an outburst. She screamed around, threw things at them and threatened Jared that she would take their kids away. Jared and Genevieve have a marriage contract and that makes a lot of things harder.

Jared is really afraid that he will lose his children, he is wound up for weeks now. He can’t sleep, he can’t eat, he can’t concentrate on anything. He spends a lot of time with his children, trying to explain them why he and their mom don’t live together anymore and why they fight so much.

Their divorce will also go to court and Jared is damn nervous. Alone in the last two days he had three panic attacks and couldn’t stomach any food. Jensen is really worried about his lover and he feels like it’s all his fault.

He was the one who finally wanted to come out and convinced his partner to do so. This awesome man sacrifices everything for him, Jared is putting so much on line and Jensen just doesn’t know if he is worth it.

He feels like he isn’t good enough.

And all that stress the last weeks brought also an unpleasant tension between them. Jared doesn’t come to bed anymore cause he doesn’t sleep anyway. Jensen is in his own little studio the whole day, hiding away and writing sad songs.

They slowly drift apart from each other and they both hate it, but they also don’t seem to find a way out of that downward circle. That’s why they even came here tonight in the first place.

Jared came up with this idea, said he wants them to be close again, hates it how disconnected they are at the moment and that they just need some time away, to breath and relax again, get a clear head.

So Jared told him he from his fantasie. He wants them to make a role play as Sam and Dean. He thought it would be a relief for them to just dive back into their favorite characters and feel the love of the brothers for each other cruising through their bodies.

Jensen found the idea wonderful and agreed. But now, standing here and seeing Jared flirting with another man? It should have occurred to him beforehand that that would only bring his depressing thoughts back.

He scoffs to himself and shakes his head, already thinking about just turning around and going back out to the car, writing Jared a massage that this wasn’t a good idea.

But damn it, he wants them to go back to how their relationship was before! He wants to laugh, tease and make love with his lover again! He just wants Jared back.

So Jensen takes a deep breath and represses that thoughts, puts them in a dark corner of his mind. He runs a hand through his hair and walks over to Jared and Stephen fucking Amell.

His partner notices him first and there is a brief smile on his lips before his expression turns back into a playful mask. Jensen stands right besides Jared and wraps an arm around his shoulder while he flashes Stephen a cold look.

“Hey...”, he says with a hard undertone turning to Jared again and glaring at him, all just a part of their act of course. His lover grins sly and shakes his arm off.

“Hey! I didn’t know you would be here tonight?”, he replies and raises his eyebrows provocatively. Jensen scoffs and bares his teeth slightly.

“Oh yeah? Well, it seems like I forgot to tell you so...”, he answers with a false grin and there is an excited glimmer in Jared’s eyes, but then Stephen interrupts them.

“Sorry to interrupt, but are you two here together? Like boyfriends or something?”, the guy asks with an unreadable mask, but Jensen hears the jealous undertone out of his voice and he sees the way Stephen’s lips curl down.

“Yes, we are here together! We actually wanted to meet up, but it seems like my boy got distracted...”, Jensen says, now fully turning to Stephen and he gives him a dead glare which maybe isn’t only a part of the act.

He just can’t stand that guy.

Stephen wants to say something again, but Jensen comes him before. He grabs Jared’s arm and pulls him up, totally ignoring his protest and his struggle to get out of his hold.

“So, if you would excuse us now? We need to discuss something!”, he bites out and without waiting for a reply he turns around and drags Jared into the bathroom. 

Jensen looks grumpy at everybody who crosses their way  in search of the toilet, which he finds around a corner besides the bar. H e shoves his lover into the surprising big toilet stall and slams the door shut before he locks it. 

Right now he is very grateful that the bar only has single bathrooms. He pins Jared against the wall with his body and growls at him.

“What was that out there, Sammy? You flirted with this son of a bitch like you’re a little whore who gets paid for it!”

He sees how Jared swallows hard, but his lover holds his act up and grins sly. He shrugs like it’s nothing and leans his head back against the cold black tiles of the wall.

“I don’t know what you mean, Dean. We just talked nicely with each other.”

Jensen scoffs and rolls his eyes. He bares his teeth and lets out an angry snarl. He wraps his hand around Jared’s throat and squeezes lightly, not choking him, it’s just a silent warning.

“Yeah, sure! I’m not a fool, Sam! You acted like you would have dropped to your knees and presented your ass as soon as he would have asked! Are you really that desperate for a cock?”

Jared starts to laugh and shakes his head. His long, soft hair flies around and mesmerizes Jensen for a moment.

“Ohh, careful, big brother! Someone could think you’re jealous!”, Jared spits out and grins mean.

Jensen glares at his lover and tightens his grip around his throat. He leans forward so that their noses almost touch. He feels Jared’s warm breath ghosting over his cheek and brushes their lips together, starring into his beautiful eyes.

“You. Are. Mine. Sam.”, he says and nibs on Jared’s lower lip.

His other hand lands on his lovers hip and he brings their groins together. He grins triumphant when Jared gasps soft.

“You are all mine, Sammy! With or without soul, doesn’t matter! Your mind and your body belong to me! And I think you may need a little remember of that...”, Jensen whisper significant and lustful.

He smirks and bites into Jared’s lip, drawing blood. His lover growls angry and suddenly he turns them around, slamming him against the wall. Jensen looks startled at Jared for a few seconds before he slips back into his roll.

“Man, as a human you already were one hell of a possessive bastard, but now? As a demon? It’s just...wow!”

Jared laughs again and it sounds cruel. He croaks his head to the side and leans forward, his mouth brushing over Jensen’s neck. He licks over his pulse point and sinks his teeth into his flesh.

He sucks blood to surface and smirks happy when he feels Jensen’s dick twitch against his hip. Jared lets go of his partner’s neck and smiles against the fresh hickey he made.

His hands slide from Jensen’s waist slowly down to his hips, brushing other his crotch and the bulge there, back to his ass. He grabs the soft and still firm warm flesh and kneads it a bit in his hands.

“Always so determined to play the strong one, big brother...the dominant, muscle off showing, macho asshole, who desperately tries to compensate something...but maybe all you really want is a rough pounding yourself, huh?”, he murmurs into Jensen’s ear and draws back a bit to look at his shocked face.

Jared licks over his lover’s lower lip, tasting him and smirks smug. He spreads Jensen’s buttocks through his pants and rubs his finger through his ass crack, smiling when he hears a sharp intake of breath from his lover.

He was just about to pull Jensen jeans down, but all of sudden his partner garbs him on his shoulders and pushes him down on his knees to the ground. A surprised gasp leaves Jared.

Jensen grins down at his lover and buries his hand in his hair. He opens his belt with his other hand and lets his jeans slide down his legs.

He doesn’t wear boxer briefs and as soon as his pants is down, his hard cock jumps free and slaps against Jared’s cheek.

“Forget that idea, Sammy...come on now, babyboy...you know what to do...”, he whispers and Jared immediately stretches his tongue willingly out, never able to resist to get a taste of his lover’s cock.

He carefully laps at the tip of Jensen’s cock and the older man moans soft, pressing him with the grip on his hair closer and forcing more of his dick between his lips.

Jared whimpers happy and starts to suck greedy on the head of his cock. He presses his tongue in the thin slit and swallows the salty pre-ejaculate down. As strange as it may sound but Jared really likes sucking Jensen’s cock.

It’s just such a big turn on to feel the weight of his lover’s hot length on his tongue and to taste him. He loves to see how Jensen slowly falls apart under him as soon as he gets his mouth on his dick.

Jared looks up at Jensen with puppy eyes and sucks the whole length of his cock down. He relaxes his throat and his nose bumps against his lover’s flat belly.

A loud groan finds his way out of Jensen’s mouth and he closes his eyes. His head falls back against the tiles of the bathroom and his grip in Jared’s hair gets tighter. He licks over his lower lip and his dick twitches.

“That’s it, Sammy...I know you love to suck my cock…”

The nickname brings Jared back to reality and he remembers their role play. Soulless Sam wouldn’t let someone else take the control and dominance so easy. He would fight with all he has. He would seduce his partner, make him submit and even bring him to enjoy it.

Jared grins slightly around Jensen’s cock when an idea comes to his mind. He slowly pulls off and swirls his tongue around the head from his lover’s thick dick. This move always makes Jensen go stir crazy. He wraps his hand around his length and strokes up and down in a nice pace while Jared’s face wanders deeper between Jensen’s thighs.  
  
He nuzzles his lover’s heavy balls and inhales his musky, manly smell.  He brushes his lips over Jensen’s balls and kisses them tender. He twists his hand around his lover’s cock and stimulates the sensitive nerves under the head of his cock.  Jared moans and sucks on Jensen’s balls.  
  
He is trying to distract his lover, he wants him to be lost in a haze of lust and desire. He glances up and sees that Jensen’s eyes are closed and his mouth slightly opened to let gentle moans out. His lover’s face is screwed into a grimace of burning pleasure and want. He slowly stops working on Jensen’s balls and his tongue slides behind them. 

  
He licks over Jensen’s tight hole and his lover curses under his breath. He is not as good as Jensen by working this place with his tongue but he knows what he is doing.    
Jared swirls his wet muscle around the entrance from Jensen and groans. He sucks a little bit on his entrance, wants to get his lover’s hole to relax and when it finally does just that, he pushes his tongue in. 

  
Jensen groans loud and his legs tremble when Jared’s tongue penetrates him. He knows exactly what his lover is trying to do there and he is not gonna fall for it.    


Even if Jared’s tongue _on_ and _in_ him feels better than heaven. 

He enjoys the feeling for a few more minutes until he decides it’s enough. With a deep growl Jensen pulls Jared with the grip he has on his hair back. He grins down at him and bares his teeth. 

  
“I know what you’re trying to do there and it doesn’t work! Come one, I think you need a little punishment for trying to play with me and for your flirty stunt out there!”  


He helps Jared up and presses him face first against the wall. Jensen rips his pants down and he hears a quite whimper from his lover. He smirks to himself and looks down at Jared’s now naked ass. 

  
He carefully kneads the warm flesh in his hands and moans. He pulls his buttocks apart and sees his wet hole. They discussed that Jared would prepare himself beforehand so that he doesn’t get hurt through their rough play. 

  
The beautiful and seducing sight makes Jensen’s cock twitch hard and he groans, but he is a pretty patient person so he can wait a few more minutes until he can finally sink into Jared tight hole and fuck him throughout.  He caress one of Jared’s ass cheeks before he draws his hand back and lets it strike his butt with full force. 

The loud slap of skin against skin echos through the toilet and he grins when his lover mewls.  There is a big red imprint in the shape of his hand on Jared’s left cheek and it turns Jensen even more on. 

He keeps hitting his lover’s buttocks alternately until they are both fiery red and hot to the touch. Jared sobs quietly out of pain or pleasure, probably a wild mix of both. There are tears in his eyes but he still smiles in bliss. 

He decides to have some mercy with his lover and gives him one last hard hit which makes Jared flinch, before he draws back. He leans forward and nuzzles into Jared’s neck. 

“You think that were enough, Sammy? You learned your lesson?”, asks Jensen is a husky voice and kisses his partner’s neck slow and wet. 

Jared immediately nods. Fuck what soulless Sam would do in this situation, his ass burns like the hellfire and he really does has enough. 

“Yes, Sir...I learned my lesson...thank you, Sir…”, mumbles Jared quietly, out of breath and tilts his head back to give Jensen more access to his neck and feel more of his wet, soft kisses. 

He starts to rub his still naked and hurting butt against the bulge in Jensen’s pants and they both moan synchronous. Jared is so wound up, one touch could make him explode and come right on the spot. 

He needs to feel Jensen, deep inside of him, rocking them together, make him feel full and wanted. And he needs it now, so he starts to plead again.

“Please, Dean...want you in me...need you now…”, whispers Jared to his lover and he doesn’t give a damn that soulless Sam would never plead and beg for something. He is too aroused right now to care about it. 

He hears Jensen’s lustful growl and shudders all over. And then there is the sound of a belt and a zipper being opened. Jensen spins him around so that they are face to face again and hikes his leg up.  J

ared immediately wraps his leg around Jensen’s hip and whines in anticipation of what is about to come. Jared’s cock is hard and drips pre-cum all over his shirt and pants. 

The cold tiles of the wall brushes against the hot skin of his ass and sooth the pain a bit. His oh so empty hole clenches around nothing. He mewls happy then he finally feels the blunt head of Jensen’s dick against his entrance and he can’t help but to push back into it.

Jensen growls and grabs his hips to hold him firm in place, while he slides his hard and throbbing cock for and back between his ass cheeks and other his full balls. 

“Hold still or you gonna get another spanking!”, warns Jensen fully caught up in his role and shit, if it doesn’t turn Jared on.

He nods understanding and holds another whine back. Jared sees how Jensen spits in his hand and slicks his cock up with his own saliva, the obscene sound loud in the bathroom and he pulls his lover closer with the one leg he has around his hip. 

“I gonna fuck you hard against that wall now, Sammy...gonna mark you from the inside...gonna come so deep in you, pump you so full of my seed that you will never doubt again that you are mine...”, growls Jensen into his ear and nibs on his earlobe. 

And then he finally, _fucking finally_ starts to push his thick, long and hard cock into Jared’s already waiting hole. It makes him moan loud, shoving his hips down into Jensen’s length, taking it all the way with one thrust. 

He wants it hard and fast, he can’t go slow, he was standing at the edge for too long already. Jared wants to feel Jensen, feel everything from him. He wants the burn, wants to feel it for the whole next week. 

And he wants to feel the passion _Dean_ has for everyone of his lovers. He wants feel his lust, his need and he wants to be the person of his adoration. 

He wants to feel the love that man carries for his brother with every deep, rough thrust. 

And Jensen seems to understand that without Jared needing to say anything, they don’t need words to communicate, just like Sam and Dean don’t need them. His lover pulls almost all the way out of him and jams his cock back in with the full force of his hips. 

Jared bites on his tongue to hold a loud scream back and the chuckle from Jensen tells him that his lover knows what he doing to him. 

“Don’t hold back, Sammy baby...scream and moan as loud as you want, let everybody know what we are doing in here...let everybody know who you belong too...”, mumbles Jensen against his lips and buries his face on his sweaty neck. 

Jared blushes hard and shakes his head, but Jensen’s next thrust hits his prostate dead one and he can’t hold back the loud moan which spills from his lips.  His lover repeats the movement, angling for his sweet spot and torturing him with that. 

Jared’s mouth hangs slightly open to let all these needy sounds out and he is so full of pleasure, it makes him hazy and he doesn’t care anymore who hears them.  He groans as loud as he wants and pushes back into Jensen’s hard and rough thrusts. 

He wraps his arms around his lover’s strong shoulders, pulling him closer but not close enough. Jensen has one hand lying on Jared’s leg wrapped around his hip and the other behind his back, pulling him into each thrust.  Jared’s cock is aching hard, stands proud up and bags for some attention, but the pleasure pooling low in his belly thanks to Jensen’s aimed thrust at his prostate has him out of his mind. 

He can’t concentrate on anything else than that thick, long and hot dick inside of him, pushing him closer to the edge. His eyes roll back into his head when Jensen suddenly stays deep inside of him, his cock applying a steady pressure on his prostate, only rutting them together. 

One of his hands slide from Jensen’s back down to his ass and he grabs his left ass cheek to hold his hips in that position, not letting him go again, the pressure on his prostate too good.  The deep mewl which slips from Jared’s lips surprises himself and his lover answers with a deep growl.

His head falls back against the tiles of the wall, throat bared.  His partner takes it as an invitation and starts to lick, bite and suck on his neck, leaving dark hickeys, marking what is his and mumbling dirty things into his skin. 

“So beautiful like this, Sammy...split open on my thick cock...begging and moaning like a bitch in heat...so tight and wet, all just for me...you love it when big brother pounds your sexy ass...”, he mumbles and grunts into the little space between them. 

Jared shudders all over when he hears Jensen whisper that dirty things in a deep, rough and fucked out voice and his hips jolt like an electric shock hit him. His cock twitches hard and his balls are drawn tight to his body. 

He is close, ready to burst into a living and breathing being which only consists of lust, burning desire, satisfaction and release. He can feel it deep in his bones, in his blood. 

Jensen seems to be close to his climax too, cause his hips loose the steady rhythm and fall into frantic thrusts. His hot length throbs inside of him and Jared can feel every bulging vein pressed against his inner walls. 

“So willingly, so wanton for me, Sammy…gonna make you come so hard you will see stars...and I gonna pump you so full of my seed you will feel it with every step you take...a reminder of who you belong to...”, growls his lover into his ear and that was it for him. 

Jensen feels the moment Jared comes. His hole gets unbelievable tighter around him, milking his cock and he groans loud together with his lover. 

Then Jared goes completely lax in his arms, a sinful smile on his red bitten lips and high on endorphins. His lover’s eyes shine glassy, happy, but there is also a mischievous glimmer to it. 

That’s when Jensen feels it, a slick finger sliding between his buttocks, probing and teasing at his hole. His mouth falls open and his eyes flutter closed when Jared pushes his long finger slowly in. 

He finds his prostate after a few experimental thrusts and then he applies a steady pressure, massaging that special spot and sending sparks of pleasure through Jensen’s whole body. 

His hips stutter and then Jensen spills his hot load into his lover’s clenching channels. He moans loud and bites lightly in his Jared’s neck to muffle the sound while his cock twitches and throbs pleasantly. 

He feels like he is flowing, his head is hazy and there is a blissful smile on his lips. They are both breathing hard, not moving, just seeking heat from each other and enjoying the afterglow of their orgasm.  It takes them several minutes to calm down again and when they finally untangle from each other and put the clothes right on again, they keep stealing kisses and soft glances from each other.

All the hard, sexual tension is gone and the only thing left is their love.

Jensen can’t help but feel proud and smirk to himself when he sees all the dark hickeys he left on Jared’s neck.  They try to clean up as best as possible but then they go out of the bathroom, almost everybody looks at them with knowing eyes, some with a shocked expression, other with a smug grin. 

They walk pass Stephen fucking Amell and Jensen is already relived, but then Jared suddenly turns around and goes back to that guy. 

He watches closely how they talk with each other, the way Jared gives him an apologetic, sad smile, the way the other man shrugs like it’s nothing. 

Then Jared says something and the guy looks happy again, beaming and nodding fast. 

In the next moment they hug tight and Jensen almost growls when he sees how Amell presses his pelvis into the hug.

His mood immediately falls again, his thoughts from a while ago back with full force. The awesome orgasm is forgotten and left is the bitter taste of jealous and self-insecurity.

Jared seems to realize that something is wrong when he comes back and finds Jensen with a sore expression, but neither of them addresses it, so they just walk together out of the bar in silence. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen tells Jared from his worries and insecurities about their relationship or more about himself. They talk it all out and have some soft vanilla makeup sex afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes Top Jared/Bottom Jensen and if you don't like that, don't read it!

The drive back home is silent and tense. Jared keeps throwing short glances at Jensen who is sitting behind the wheel with a thoughtful look on his beautiful face.

Jared doesn’t like that look. He knows Jensen is struggling with a lot of things at the time. He is still busy with his divorce and the custody of the children, but at least Danneel finally took some peace with their relationship.

She is still hurt of course, but she can’t deny that their marriage was long broken, before Jared and Jensen came together.

Genevieve in turn is still on the war path, but Jared forbids himself to think about that now.

His lover is in pain, struggling with his mind and Jared wants to be there for him. He knows Jensen is in something like a midlife crisis at the moment. His partner is in his late thirty's now and he doesn’t sees himself as a desirable person anymore.

It doesn’t matter how often Jared tells Jensen that he loves him even if he was a few white strands of hair and that he is still the most gorgeous man walking on earth.

It doesn’t matter how often Jared tells Jensen he will love him forever even when he is old and wrinkly like a raisin and can’t go to the toilet alone anymore.

Jared wishes he knew how to help his awesome partner but he doesn’t and it frustrates him.

Jensen was always there for him, even in his darkest times. He helped him up from the ground, wiped his tears away and he made him eat when Jared couldn’t do it on his own.

Jensen was there when he had his first mental breakdown on set. He held him until the doctor came, he never leaved his side and he even cleaned his vomit up. He sat by Jared when he told the doctor what was going on in his life and since when he felt so down.

Jensen was there when Jared got diagnosed with clinical depression and he never once judged him. Hell, he even accompanied Jared to the first appointments with his therapist.

Jensen was _always_ there for him and now he wants to give that back to him.

Jared was so caught up in his thoughts he didn’t even realized that they are finally back home. He sighs sad when Jensen goes out of the car without saying anything and follows his lover wordless.

He locks the door to their house behind himself when they are both in. He watches how Jensen walks up the stairs and disappears in their shared bedroom. He makes sure that all the lights and electronics in the first floor are out before he goes up to.

Jared hears the shower in the bathroom and  sh akes his head silently . He looks through their bedroom in which he hasn’t slept in for a few days now and then suddenly an idea comes to his mind t hat could light the mood  between them  again. 

He rushes back down the stairs into the kitchen and heats the pasta from yesterday up. He takes a lot candles which smell like vanilla and brings them up in their bedroom. He puts the candles on every free surface in the room and lights them up.

He even makes some slow soft music on. Jared rushes back in the kitchen and gets the pasta before he heads up again.

He takes almost all his clothes off expect his boxer briefs and sits down on the bed. Jared is a little out of breath but he is ready with his little surprise before Jensen has finished his shower.

He runs a hand through his hair and takes a few deep breathes to calm his too fast beating heart. Suddenly the rushing sound of the water stops and he can hear the wet steps from his lover.

He grins to himself and then the door to the bathroom opens. Jensen stands there, naked, still dripping water and with a short towel wrapped around his hips.

Jared giggles a bit when he sees the confused look on his lover’s face. He claps on the empty space besides him and Jensen walks slowly over.

“What is this here, Jay?”, he asks and smiles weak while he sits down besides his partner. He takes the whole room in, the slow music in the background, the warm light from the candles and the sweet smell.

Jensen shakes his head and grins to himself. It’s so typical for Jared to put something romantic out as soon as he notices that something is wrong with his partner. He sits back against the headboard and stares exceptional at the younger man.

“Well, you seemed a little down since we leaved the bar and I thought we could let the night wear off with some pasta, nice music and maybe some talking…”, answers Jared in a low voice and a little unsure.

Jensen only laughs quietly and leans over to give his adorable partner a tender kiss. He buries his hand in Jared’s hair and massages his scalp a little bit.

“Thank you, sweetheart…”, he mumbles against his lover’s lips. He smiles and takes his bowl with pasta and starts to eat.

Jared watches his lover for a moment and smiles fondly before he takes his own bowl with pasta too and begins to eat. The only noise is the music in the background and the quiet sound of them chewing.

From time to time they give each other a few lingering glances and lovely smiles but they don’t talk. After they are ready with their small dinner they put the empty bowls to the side and lie down facing each other.

Jared is the one to break the silence. He carefully grabs Jensen’s hand and entwines their fingers.

“Are you going to tell me what is wrong and what you are thinking about since we left the bar or do I need to press it out of you?”

Jensen scoffs with an amused smile on his full lips and shakes his head. He slides a little closer to his lover and also entwines their legs.

“No, you don’t need to press it out of me, I surrender. It’s just- I don’t know. You looked really interested in Amell somehow and I can’t help to think maybe you would be better off with someone else. I mean, I’m not so young anymore and I don’t wanna be a burden for you, Jay.”

He shrugs and avoids to look at Jared. He feels a few burning tears in his eyes and swallows the lump in his throat down.

The last few months were pretty hard for both of them. The whole coming out thing, the fights with Danneel and Genevieve, the divorces, the dispute over child custody and it will only be more stressful when everything becomes public.

And Jensen’s stupid little midlife crisis takes the rest out of him. All he actually needs are few minutes of peace and some love from his charming partner and his kids.

He sighs and feels Jared shuffling around besides him. He finally manages to glance up again and what he sees in his lover’s eyes surprises him. He expected pity and maybe sadness, but not anger.

And yet Jared seems almost furious. Jensen swallows thickly, not knowing what he said that upsetted his lover. He watches how Jared sits up.

“Don’t you understand it, Jensen? I don’t want another man or another woman! You are the person I wanna spend the rest of my life with! I left my wife for you, because I love you! I could lose my children if Genevieve wins the fight for the custody of our children! I could lose everything I ever had! And I did that for you, because _I love you_ and I would do it again if it means that I’m together with you! But yet you still doubt me and our relationship! Do you know how much that hurts?” 

A sob leaves Jared’s throat and Jensen is  so  surprised from his outburst what he forg ets how to speak for a moment.  He rushes to pull his partner into his arms and hushes him soft ly . 

Jared’s whole body trembles with every sob. The tension from all these hard last months comes out of him in one go and he claws desperate at Jensen while countless tears stream down his face. 

They stay like that for quiet some time, huddled into each other and letting the anxiety, the grief and the anger out in form of tears and breathless sobs.

When they finally manage to calm down they have both red rimmed swollen eyes and dried waterlines on their cheeks. They give each other a weak smile and share a lovely kiss.

Jensen is the first one to speak again and Jared is thankful for the few more minutes he has to get a grip on himself.

“I’m so sorry that you got the impression from me that I doubt you or our relationship. I do not. I put the same things to lose for you, for us, because _I love you_ and because _I want to_ _be together_ _with you_ regardless of the price I need to pay for it. And I don’t doubt you, I only doubt myself. I don’t know if I’m good enough for you, Jay. You are such a kind, lovely, selfless person with such a big heart and I don’t know if I even deserve you. And it wouldn’t be fair of me to hold you back.”

H e shrugs and smiles sadly, another lonely tear leaving his eye. He glances at Jared and the younger man seem utterly shocked. His mouth hangs slightly open and he wears a disbelieving  expression . 

Jensen waits for his lover to find his voice back but that doesn’t happen. Instead Jared almost jumps on him and straddles his thighs while he connects their lips in a wild and desperate kiss.

He makes a surprised sound in the back of his throat before he kisses Jared with the same despair and passionate love back.

His lover pushes him back into the bed and Jensen opens his legs willingly so that the taller man can lie down between them. He moans soft when he feels Jared’s tongue sliding into his mouth.

When their lungs start to burn from the lack of oxygen they break away from each other. Jared nuzzles Jensen and inhales his warm, fresh smell. His voice shivers slightly when he finds it back.

“God, Jen...of course you are good enough for me! I couldn’t have asked for a better partner! You are loyal, passionate, cute and possessive, you make me feel safe and loved! And you are the most gorgeous man I have ever seen!”, he says and chuckles before going on.

“I only want you, Jensen! And I expect from you that you respect and accept my decision in that!”

He looks down at his stunned partner and raises his eyebrows in a silent question. Jensen just stares at him and finally gives in with a sigh and a nod.

Jared grins happy and leans down to kiss his lover again. He garbs with on hand into Jensen’s short hair and his other hand goes to the towel around his partner’s hips.

He tugs the wet cloth away and shakes his boxer briefs off too. His already half hard cock slides over Jensen’s muscular thigh and he groans into their kiss.

He draws back and starts to kiss an invisible path down Jensen’s neck. He grinds his hips down a little bit and their groins meet. Jared gasps and his lover whines softly.

He bites into Jensen’s skin and sucks hard. He licks apologetically over the dark hickey he made and his lips wander deeper. He spends some time on his lover’s nipples, sucks and nibbles on them until they are red and swollen, glistening with spit.

He points his tongue out and lets it slide down Jensen’s stomach, dips it in his belly button and drives it over the thick, blue veins which lead him to his partner’s hot, hard length. He grins to himself when he hears the impatient moan from Jensen.

Jared nuzzles his hard cock and breathes warm air against it. He teases his partner more and presses wet, open mouthed kisses over his groin. He licks a few thin pearls of pre-cum from the tip of his dick and growls at the salty taste.

“Jay, come on...need to feel you, don’t make me wait...”, whines Jensen quietly and runs his hands through Jared’s hair.

He doesn’t want some hard, teasing sex right now. He wants to feel Jared, wants to feel his love and his passion, but in a soft and slow way. He wants to draw it out, take the time to really enjoy it.

Jensen wants to feel Jared’s cock inside of him, feeling it throbbing to his heartbeat with each wet hot thrust. He wants to merge with him, unit their hearts, their body and their souls.

Jared thankfully seems to understand his need and smiles soft. He nods and crawls up his body to connect their lips in another tender kiss. Jensen moans delighted when their tongues meet for another slow dance.

He hears Jared searching for the lube in the bedside drawer and shudders when he hears the well known sound of the little bottle opening with a click. His thighs tremble slightly when a cold, slick finger presses against his entrance.

Jensen parts their lips again with a wet sound and lets his head fall back. His arms lie around Jared’s back and he feels the strong muscles moving under his hands.

A gasps leaves his swollen lips when Jared slowly pushes a finger inside of him and his body opens up willingly for him, still a little widen from the previous prep in the bar.

They usually don’t do it like that. Jensen likes it more to be on top, to have his partner buried under him, slowly falling apart cause of the pleasure he gives him. It’s a huge turn on for him to see Jared lost in lust.

But sometimes Jensen has the need to feel his partner on top and deep inside of himself. He needs to let go for a moment, give some of the control he sticks to so desperately up and let himself be lead.

And he knows sometimes Jared needs to have some of that control for himself. It’s like an unspoken agreement between them.

They know each other so good that they now instinctively what the other desires.

Before Jensen even realizes it Jared has three fingers up in him. He baths in the pleasure, enjoys the feeling of the stretch. They share more passionate kisses and pant into each other’s mouth.

He grabs blindly for his lover’s cock and wants to give him some of the pleasure back but Jared swats his hand away. He makes a confused sound and looks out of lust clouded eyes at his partner.

Jared leans down to him and nibbles on his earlobe. Goosebumps make the fine hair on his arms, his legs and his neck stand up.

“This here is only about you, Jen…”, whispers Jared in his ear and it makes Jensen shudder again, but he still manages to nod.

He whimpers in protest when his lover withdraws his fingers but Jared silences him with a soft kiss. He hears the click of the opening lube bottle again and his cock twitches hard at the recognition what is about to come.

He looks down to watch how his partner slicks his cock up. He groans at the sight and turns into his stomach cause he wants to feel his lover as deep as possible and this position allows that.

Jared grabs a pillow which he puts under Jensen’s pelvis to move his hips a little more up. He leans over his lover and supports himself with his hand next to his head. Jared’s forehead rests on Jensen’s shoulder and he looks down to lead his hard and throbbing cock to his hole.

He slowly starts to push in and groans low as Jensen’s hole sucks him greedy deeper. When he is fully sheathed inside of his lover, he pause and gives Jensen the time to adjust to his length. He takes a few deep breathes, trying to calm himself cause he is already too close to his orgasm.

“You alright, Jen?”, Jared breathes into his lover’s ear and presses his lips on his neck. His whole body trembles with the effort to not just pull out of Jensen again and fuck him hard into the mattresses.

“Yeah...yeah, I’m good, baby...you can move now…”, answers Jensen as he moves his hips up a little bit and presses back against his lover.

Burning pleasure pools low in his belly and his cock twitches inside of Jensen when he hears the permission to finally move. He pulls out and slowly presses his cock in again. Both moan delighted and Jared starts to move his hips in a steady rhythm.

We both enjoy the slow pace, the feel of each others skin sliding wet together and the  gentle,  breathy  lust sounds feeling the room. 

Jared bends down to nibble on Jensen skin again, a salty taste feeling his mouth which makes him whimper and his lover response with a growl. He closes his eyes in bliss and his balls feel heavier with every passing minute.

“Come on, Jay...harder…”, says Jensen in a raspy voice and bends his head to catch Jared’s lips in a passionate kiss. He groans when their tongues meet yet again.

Jared follows his plead and starts to get harder. He keeps the slow pace up, but there his more power behind the movement of his hips.

Jensen moans loud when his lover changes the angle and hits his prostate with every thrust. He feels his climax coming near with each drag of the long cock inside of him.

Usually he would also need a hand of his dick but the pillow under his hips offers enough friction for him. He turns his face away again when his neck starts to hurt from the awkward angle and their lips part with an audible pop.

Jensen begins to move with Jared thrust and clenches around his cock. He groans again and his eyes roll back in his head. It feels like his whole body is on fire. All his nerves are singing with pleasure his skin tingles pleasantly.

His organs melt under the sweet torture which makes him feel lightheaded and fuzzy. Jensen bites into the pillow lying under his head to hold a cry of pleasure back and he feels Jared dick twitching hard inside of him. He knows his lover is close too.

One more hard thrust into his sweet point and he comes. His whole body trembles and a choked off sob leaves him. His cock releases spurt after spurt of hot seed and the endorphins in his blood make him go limb.

Jensen relaxes into the mattress and his breath slows down. He feels how Jared freezes behind him and the loud moan tells him that his lover hit his orgasm too.

He feels the seed from Jared slowly trickling out of him when his partner pulls out of him several minutes after their mind blowing climaxes. Jensen huffs softly and turns into his back again.

He grins soft up at Jared and the younger man smiles just as lovely back. He stretches his neck a bit, demanding a kiss and Jared understands him immediately, so he bends down to connect their lips for what feels like the hundredth time tonight.

Both sigh happy and move their lips in a slow, tender rhythm together, all the desperation and need gone. Jensen whines quietly when Jared separates their lips, but he is to tried to complain or even open his eyes.

He hears his lover standing up and going into the bathroom, the water splashing into the skin and then a wet, warm and rough washcloth on his belly, his groin and between his legs.

Jensen enjoys the careful treatment and purrs soft. He hears Jared’s chuckle and smirks to himself. As soon as both of them are clean his lover disappears again.

He sighs and shuffles under the blanket, turning into his side. He waits patiently for Jared to come back but the minutes go on and his partner doesn’t come and then he feels eyes on himself. He grumbles and blinks a few times before he can see clear again.

Jensen looks confused up to Jared who stands in front of him at the edge of the bed and shifts his weight nervous form one foot to the other. He recognizes the shy expression on his lover’s face and laughs.

He slides back a little bit and makes more room in front of himself. He lifts the blanket as an invitation and Jared hops into bed with him and presses his back against Jensen’ chest.

Jensen giggles again when Jared tucks his head under his chin and a soft purr leaves him. He pulls the blanket around them both and wraps his arm over his partner's waist to pull him even closer.

He breathes Jared’s warm smell in and closes his tired eyes. It’s already dark in their bedroom, the last candle burnt off before they even hit their orgasm.

“I love you, Jay...”, he mumbles into Jared’s hair and nuzzles into his neck.

Jensen half expects Jared to answer him with a snore but it seems like his lover is still awake, even though his words sound slurred and thick with sleep.

“Mh, luv u too, Jen...”, he answers silently and yawns right afterwards.

Jensen smiles happy and presses a kiss on his partner’s cheek before he settles down again and follows Jared into the dreamland.


End file.
